Normal male behaviour?
Question by stephie: Normal male behaviour?
I’ve asked questions about my husband of one year – he went on holiday (alone) to the canaries when I was 7 months pregnant, now he’s going again, leaving me alone with our 4 month old baby, & I’m suffering with PND & panic attacks. His reasons for proving to me that he is unreliable & not a husband you can depend on when you need him, range from him wanting to lie on a beach for two weeks, buy cheap tobacco, or that it gets dark before 4pm and is wet and cold, and he finds it depressing “but don’t worry next year we can have a family holiday”.
Well tonight he told me the real reason he wants to go. I already found out the last time he went that he likes to go to the nudist beach, well tonight he told me that he likes to look at either naked women & also women in bikinis. He told me that he gets a sore wrist with all the ‘finger shuffle’ going on. I mean I understand he probably masturbates to porn, but to actively admit to doing it, alone, in a foreign country, over real, tangible women??? With me last time being huge, now still with some wobbly bits, and leaky boobs, but he’s jetting off to see some ‘sexy’ girls?
What with this, then him announcing he wants his ex (who still fancies him) to come and sit our baby… I feel sick & dizzy?
So would you be happy to find out this?
I ought to add that he keeps telling me randomly that he would never cheat on me… though he seems very snappy right now, so I’m scared that he may cheat & use the excuse “things weren’t great with us” and then expect me to give him a second chance. I have nowhere to go – I gave up my house to live with him, worse mistake ever – I’m also not young anymore. We live in a council house – his name is on the tenancy so I can’t kick him out
Best answer:
Answer by derbydolphin
he’s said it himself, he’s a w**ker and you’ve made a poor choice of partner, good luck because you’re going to need it.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
That’s not normal.
It’s your fault for picking a jerk of a loser. Yours. No one else’s, yours.
No, that’s not normal male behavior, he is an insensitive jerk that doesn’t care about anything but himself.
You can’t actually dump him right now, and it sucks that you have 2 kids– maybe you can get him to go to couple’s counseling. He could also have a personality disorder. I think it’s great (sarcasm) that so many women are totally inept when picking a mate; you got your “bad boy,” have fun!
He doesn’t respect you for whatever reason. He also is sick somewhere in his body. He needs professional help, because that’s not normal for a healthy adult man.
He sounds like a idiot that needs his ass kicked real hard. No man should do that ever. You and the child is a major priority for him, not doing the trip. If I wanted him to feel what I felt, I would do the same thing, but look at men just to rub it in. Anyways if you do leave him, he will have to pay child support. It is better to be happy than stuck with a douche bag. You deserve better than that.
Hope all goes well.
No, I would not be happy to find ANY of this out.
No, it si NOT normal behaviour, and I think you should start divorce proceedings while he’s away. Kick him out of the house.
It is NOT your FAULT that he is a fucking jerk. What a stupid thing to say.
He’s going on sex vacations.
Wake up!
Nothing wrong with single guys going on sex vacations, but married guys shouldn’t, for obvious reasons.
no, not normal.
not even in any way reasonable.
make sure that you find yourself some options for when it becomes necessary to leave him.
no-one taking as much advantage as he does of you is ever likely to stop
it is most likely he will get much, much worse
clearly you don’t respect your self enough to give him the boot. He sees that so he’s taking advantage of you.
He sounds like a selfish git, either than or he is feeling unwanted or left out somehow. I suggest a big face to face talk to see where your relationship is going and if there is any future in it for both of you.
The fact the he didn’t bring you with him makes me as a guy think he has either brought someone else or is seeing someone else over there behind your back.
No this is not normal male behaviour. I know lots of good partners/Husbands and good Dad’s whose wives and children are much more important than jerking off or going on holiday. He obviously cares little for his family or is taking it all for granted. He sounds very immature for someone who is supposed to be a settled man and a Father. I would give him an ultimatum. Either he doesn’t go on this holiday and gives your more emotional support or he packs his bags. Maybe you could try marriage or relate counselling because often it helps to have a third party in the room helping you go through each others feelings properly. If that doesn’t get through his thick skull nothing will.