Is this what to expect from a man?
Question by stephie: Is this what to expect from a man?
I’ve asked questions about my husband of one year – he went on holiday (alone) to the canaries when I was 7 months pregnant, now he’s going again, leaving me alone with our 4 month old baby, & I’m suffering with PND & panic attacks. His reasons for proving to me that he is unreliable & not a husband you can depend on when you need him, range from him wanting to lie on a beach for two weeks, buy cheap tobacco, or that it gets dark before 4pm and is wet and cold, and he finds it depressing “but don’t worry next year we can have a family holiday”.
Well tonight he told me the real reason he wants to go. I already found out the last time he went that he likes to go to the nudist beach, well tonight he told me that he likes to look at either naked women & also women in bikinis. He told me that he gets a sore wrist with all the ‘finger shuffle’ going on. I mean I understand he probably masturbates to porn, but to actively admit to doing it, alone, in a foreign country, over real, tangible women??? With me last time being huge, now still with some wobbly bits, and leaky boobs, but he’s jetting off to see some ‘sexy’ girls?
What with this, then him announcing he wants his ex (who still fancies him) to come and sit our baby… I feel sick & dizzy?
So would you be happy to find out this?
I ought to add that he keeps telling me randomly that he would never cheat on me… though he seems very snappy right now, so I’m scared that he may cheat & use the excuse “things weren’t great with us” and then expect me to give him a second chance. I have nowhere to go – I gave up my house to live with him, worse mistake ever – I’m also not young anymore. We live in a council house – his name is on the tenancy so I can’t kick him out
Best answer:
Answer by Connor
Wow, this whole thing makes absolutly no sense. The sentences are so jumbled I don’t get what you are saying.
I know that my partner has masturbated to specific real life people, and he knows I have done the same. You should be secure enough in eachother and in your relationship to talk about these things and not get upset. You guys obviously have relationship issues that need dealing with, so I suggest you go an seek couples counciling.
Cheating is way more likely to happen when relationship problems are ignored as well, so do make sure the two of you sit down and discuss this issue and all other ones.
-Connor
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Do yourself and your child a favor, by leaving him. You seem not to trust him, and he seems not to care. He’s being selfish, and you’re being to naive. Either seek couples therapy to give him a chance, or just separate. I wish you all the best. -e
No, you can’t kick him out but if you are escaping domestic violence they probably have to house you and pay housing benefit and council tax benefit for 12 weeks as an automatic, our council does.
Anyway, I’m just going to say this, he’s a total and complete arseho1e and you would do well to move out while he’s away. Seriously, he’s going away without you so he can jack off over other women? man he’d be coming back to the coldest emptiest house he could ever imagine. I might just pi55 on his bed as a welcome home gift too.
He’s a loser, a nasty ugly loser that you and your baby would be better off without, what in the hell is wrong with him? he’s torturing you by telling you that’s what he’s going to do, trying to hurt you. He’s a sadist. It won’t be long before he’s hitting you for real. Just tell the council you are escaping domestic violence while he’s away, if they don’t place you somewhere, at least you can go back and figure something else out, if they do then good luck to you and be careful who you get involved with in future – like I need to say that.
I hate him for you.
my suggest is to leave him. find someone you know very much and reliable to take care of your child. Then work so you can support you and your child. if you didnt graduate and never had a job theres always time to go to college, even if your 60.
So, let me guess. You’re going to tell us (but you didn’t, did you?) that this guy was a loving, caring, always-put-you-first type of guy for years… until he was about to become a father… I doubt it.
Regardless of what someone out here in cyberspce expects from a man, this is what YOU expect from a man because you (and millions of other women, apparently), not only put up with it, but have them father your children. Are there so many empty council flats, that Her Majesty is requesting that you populate her kingdom with as many children as you can? You’ve made a bad choice and you’re going to have to live with it, either with him or raising your child alone. Don’t worry about him; I’ve never seen men like this lack for female companionship in my life. In fact, the bigger jerks they are, the more women line up to bask in the glow of what they’re mistaking as the man’s confidence. Too bad your kid has a jerk for a father. That’s who I really feel for in this situation. You asked for it. Your baby didn’t.
Dont let him go. Please him. Do the naughty things he wants to do. If this doesnt work than, sorry. At least you tried
boot him out
Everybody masturbates to real people… the sketchy thing here is him leaving you alone when you’re trying to look after a baby. He really doesn’t sound like he’s doing his part.
no offence but i think you need a divorce you deserve someone soooo much better